Thoughts on Meat

I think that if I had to do it all over again, I'd be a butcher. In my experience, butchers are nice people -- very helpful when it comes to making tough choices about meat. There's a certain amount of respect that comes with being a butcher. Maybe when I retire.

From the ironic files: Two men in Manchester, NH have been charged with stealing from a Wendy's restaurant. One of the men's name -- Ronald MacDonald. Article here.

Happy Thanksgiving

Pat Morita, who starred in The Karate Kid (and also appeared in several TV shows, including a handful of episodes of M*A*S*H (I really just wanted to type the name with those asterisks (because it looks kind of cool), he had many roles more notable than M*A*SH) has died.

A Very Special Holiday Treat

Both because it's that holiday time of the year, and because a lot of you haven't heard this FANTASTIC song in about a year (or, for the very unlucky, never at all), I felt the strong desire to repost the link to my favorite holiday song here.

I'm not going to describe what song it is, because the surprise helps to add to the joy. Suffice it to say, it's my favorite holiday song out there. Don't forget to click on the link to the remix at the bottom of the page, it's simply brilliant. I only hope that I can listen to this song from Hell. Happy Holidays!

JoePa and the Lions are Big Ten Champs!

Since this space has previously been used to praise the accomplishments of various sporting teams, I can't, in good conscious, let another minute go by without congratulating the Penn State Nittany Lions on winning the Big Ten Saturday night with a rousing win over Michigan State. As many of you know, PSU hasn't been playing at the level that most Penn State fans have become accustomed to over the years. This year, lead by a group of seniors who just wouldn't quit, the Lions turned their fortune around, going 10-1. Save the two seconds mysteriously added to the clock against Mighigan, and this team would be undefeated. Either way, I don't think many people, if any, predicted a 10-1 record and a trip to a BCS bowl. Congratulations guys on an absolutely fantastic season. WE ARE!

Is it Breezy in Here?

Webster University student Misha Sulpovar has been charged with indecent exposure. Why? Because his "performance art piece" consisted of him walking up to random people with his twig and berries hanging out of his pants zipper. He claims he wanted to see the people's reactions. Hell, I'd want to see their reactions too. In one instance, he walked up to a table at Webster's career fair "with [his] genitalia exposed through a pant zipper. After inquiring if there were any job openings with the company, . . . the suspect then colored on his genitals with a highlighter from the company's table." Makes sense to me. Maybe I'll try this next time I'm looking for a job.

Misha himself gave his reasons in his blog (I recommed that you read his blog, which is interesting to say the least): "I go out to a populated, neutral, public place with an unzipped fly and what appears to be scrotum-like flesh hanging out. I would walk around seemingly unaware of this detail and note peoples' reactions." Why not. Oh wait, I know, because it's illegal. I mean, who wouldn't want to walk around with his (or I suppose, in today's times, her) scrotum-like flesh hanging out on a hot day? You just can't though, just like you can't rob a bank. Oh well, sorry Misha. Full article here.

Also, read about the history of beer-pong here, in part two of the Dartmouth's three part series on the evolution of beer pong.

Apparently Satan is an Inventor

I don't have any comments on this other than explitives. It makes me mad. Reagan SMASH:

Capton’s Beverage Tracker system is an innovative liquor monitoring system that helps bar owners increase their liquor profits by providing real-time wireless liquor consumption data to help prevent against shrinkage. Our system help you identify over-pours and drink giveaways. Think of it as an electronic journal of everything that happens within your bar operations. Remember, you can’t manage what you can’t measure!

Benefits
* - Free-Pour Spout
* - Real-Time Pour Tracking
* - Wireless Transmission
* - Accurate To 1/10th Ounce
* - Engage/Disengage Switch
* - Increases Bar Profits
* - Reduces Over-Pours
* - Reduces Theft
* - Tracks Par Stock
* - Reduces Liquor Costs

Beverage Tracker® takes complex technology and creates a simple and manageable way to track each and every ounce as your bar staff free-pours liquor. Electronics and a battery are contained in each spout. As the spout pours liquor it wirelessly transmits how much in real-time to software which captures each and every pour.

Your patrons will never know you’re using something besides a regular pour top. Your bartenders will be conscious that even though they are free pouring they are still accountable for what they pour.

Wireless Spout
Beverage Tracker uses wireless free-pour spouts, allowing bartenders to pour liquor without restricting flow or limiting quantities. Each spout contains a unique microchip that transmits pour data via radio frequency to the receiver. Each microchip has a unique code, enabling each spout to be tracked individually.

Thanks to RealTechNews for the article.

I'd Go With Pink

From Boston.com:

Seeing red? It may be your law firm

What mood is your law firm?

A study of the country's 200 most profitable firms found that more than half of them -- 116, to be exact -- have blue logos, websites, business cards, and other advertising materials.

Why blue? Maybe because it's what's known in the marketing business as a ''low arousal" color, one that elicits a sense of calm and relaxation. Blue also projects an aura of royalty and authority.

Red, in contrast, is an adrenaline-pumping, ''high arousal" color that exudes excitement, action, and aggression, says Tom Simons, founder of Partners + Simons, the Boston ad agency that did the study.

Red has even been shown to raise blood pressure, which may be why only 19 percent of the law firms surveyed chose it for their brand identity.

For Choate, Hall & Stewart, arousal may be a good thing. The firm recently ditched its blue motif and now features a bright red chili pepper on its website. The switch was driven by client feedback that described the firm as warm, intense, and dynamic, says Betsy Huntley, Choate's marketing director.

Just 8 percent of the firms picked gray, the color of overcast skies, perhaps wanting to avoid a dour, serious image.

Two percent selected green, nature's color. That may be a shade law firms avoid, Simons said, because it's also the color of the greenback (although others could make a case that's exactly the message lawyers want to send).

A Study: The Efficacy of Aluminum Foil Helmets

Since I know that most of you out there reading NegativeMode are fairly off-centered, I would not be surprised to find out a good number of you at some point have worn aluminum helmets around as a way to thwart government mind control devices. I'm pretty sure that PositiveMode wears them on a semi-regular basis. Well, as a service to you, my insane readers, I present you with this study conducted by four M.I.T. students on the efficacy of those aluminum mind protecters you've been wearing. According to the research, the helmets can actually amplify certain frequencies used exclusively by the federal government.

Here's the study abstract:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

The entire study can be found here. Time to find some new protection.

Sentencing Trial Comes to a Head

Follow up to my April 28, 2005 post regarding the Norwegian woman charged with raping some man because she blew him while he was asleep:

The 24-year-old woman found guilty on Thursday of forcing sex on a sleeping man has been sentenced to eight months in prison by a Bergen court.The woman was sentenced according to rape laws, for having obtained sexual access to a sleeping man. This was the appeals trial, after she had been sentenced to nine months for the same offense.

The assault took place at a post-party gathering in a Bergen apartment on Sunday, Jan. 4, 2004. The woman admitted to taking the man's erect penis in her mouth but claimed that he was awake and approved.

The man awoke and became extremely upset and has had psychological difficulties as a result of the incident. The appeals jury again found in favor of the man's version, the woman having suffered a severe loss of credibility by changing her story just before the first trial began.

She had originally denied that any sexual contact took place, but then said it was consensual after a DNA report emerged.

This is the first time in Norway that a woman has been convicted for rape as the sole assailant. There is one prior case of a woman being convicted of being an accessory to rape, along with two male co-defendants.

Some Thoughts On Modern Pant Trends

NegativeMode:
I think that men's pants manufacturers have been too slow in adapting to today's waist-line trends. More specifically, men are wearing their pants an inch or two lower these days than was the case in the past. While some jeans manufacturers have addressed this problem by moving up the crotch (more specifically, decreasing the distance from the "waist" to the "crotch"), far too few dress slacks manufacturers have followed suit (no pun intended). Perhaps this is to reduce intraoffice romance, so men's pants are not as compact in the crotch region, thus eliciting a carnal response in the fairer sex.

PositiveMode:
I've thought a lot about office-pants length, although not as much about the location of the crotch (though now I am sure to consider that thoroughly). I bought a pair of dress pants a few weeks ago that were a 30-inch inseam - even the 32 I would have had to wear too high. this seemed really weird because 30 is in the lower range of what you can get, yet i am somewhat above-average in height (these were, of course, particularly long for 30-inches but still).

I think you can get fashionable work pants that are cut right, they're just harder to find, and you probably have to pay more.

I really hope that it has something to do with office romance.

NegativeMode:
That's pretty shocking that you purchased a 30-inch-inseam pant. I generally wear a 32 (and occasionally 33) and you're a good 3-4 inches taller than me. It's actually a pretty good mental picture of someone with really short legs but an incredibly long torso who is 6'2". You must be some kind of freak.

PositiveMode:
I don't think it's that I have freakishly short legs (or, alternatively, a shockingly long torso). I think these pants were just slighly long, and I think I like to wear them (gasp) even lower than you do. normally I wear a 32, and if I'm buying a suit, sometimes the salesman guy tries to but me into 34s but then they're usually up really too high.