Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Across the Pond

Why is it that most voice-over announcers for beauty product (e.g. make-up, shampoo, moisturizer, etc.) commercials are British women (or at least women speaking with a British accent)? It seems fairly prevalent, but I don't see a reason for it. British women aren't necessarily more beautiful than other women, are they? Maybe Americans feel that British women really know their beauty products.

On an unrelated, but still British note, I think there should be a show where Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsey deride each other and generally act smarmy for a half hour. I'd like that.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Let's Rearrange

It would be much more aesthetically pleasing if the grocery store was organized by color instead of food-type. When I say color, I'm talking about the color of the packaging if there is any or, if not, the color of the food. For example, bananas would be in the yellow aisle (although non-ripe bananas would be in the green aisle). Kraft Mac n Cheese would be in the blue aisle.

I think it would make the most sense if the colors were arranged the same as the rainbow from left to right, so violet/purple would be to the left of the grocery store and reds would be to the right of the store. It would be more enjoyable for both the people who work at the store and those of us visiting the store. Of course, it may be next to impossible to find anything, but that's the price you pay for aesthetics.

I'm going to talk to may local grocery store manager and I'd encourage you to do the same.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

An Update on Old Thinking: Celebrations

I think it's time that we change the way we celebrate life's major milestones. Wait, that's not exactly accurate. I think it's time we change the way we measure life's major milestones. I don't really care how you choose to celebrate them. What I'm getting at it this:

When we're young children, babies, our parents measure our age in terms of months, i.e., "Little Spartacus is 18 months old." It makes sense if the baby is under a year old, I suppose. It would be silly to say that little Spartacus is 7/12 of one year old. So we use months. Then, there comes a time when we switch to years. I'm not sure exactly when that is, 18 months maybe? 24 months. Regardless, it happens. At this point, we celebrate all of our major milestones in terms of years: 16th year, 21st year, 30th year, etc.

I propose a change to this form of celebration. After 21, the years don't really matter anymore anyway, do they? You're just one year older (wiser?). Instead of throwing big parties for someone on their 40th or 50th or 60th birthday, why not switch back to the month calculation? I would love to have a huge bash when I turn 500 (March 29, 2021). And if I make it to 1000 (November 29, 2062), well, you better believe I'm gettin' me a yacht in the Caribbean stocked with malt liquor and the finest hookers money will buy.

This month, I'll be turning 331. Not a major milestone, true, but impressive nonetheless. 333, on the other hand (May 29, 2007), is a good one. I think I'll treat myself to a nice dinner.