An Update on Old Thinking: Celebrations

I think it's time that we change the way we celebrate life's major milestones. Wait, that's not exactly accurate. I think it's time we change the way we measure life's major milestones. I don't really care how you choose to celebrate them. What I'm getting at it this:

When we're young children, babies, our parents measure our age in terms of months, i.e., "Little Spartacus is 18 months old." It makes sense if the baby is under a year old, I suppose. It would be silly to say that little Spartacus is 7/12 of one year old. So we use months. Then, there comes a time when we switch to years. I'm not sure exactly when that is, 18 months maybe? 24 months. Regardless, it happens. At this point, we celebrate all of our major milestones in terms of years: 16th year, 21st year, 30th year, etc.

I propose a change to this form of celebration. After 21, the years don't really matter anymore anyway, do they? You're just one year older (wiser?). Instead of throwing big parties for someone on their 40th or 50th or 60th birthday, why not switch back to the month calculation? I would love to have a huge bash when I turn 500 (March 29, 2021). And if I make it to 1000 (November 29, 2062), well, you better believe I'm gettin' me a yacht in the Caribbean stocked with malt liquor and the finest hookers money will buy.

This month, I'll be turning 331. Not a major milestone, true, but impressive nonetheless. 333, on the other hand (May 29, 2007), is a good one. I think I'll treat myself to a nice dinner.