I enjoy going to the movies (save the rapidly escalating prices, but that is neither here nor there). I even enjoy "bad" movies. If it gives me two hours of entertainment, allows me to escape from reality, and holds my attention, the movie was worth it. Of course, I would rather see a great or good movie, but you can't win 'em all. The point of all of this is that I rarely see a movie that I think is truly terrible (the last one I can think of was Be Cool (that movie was absolutely horrendous, but was actually so bad, that it was fun watching it)). Well, I saw one last night.
After a lovely dinner at Ted's Montana Grill, a mutual decision was made to go see the new James Bond move, Casino Royale. RottenTomatoes rated Casino Royale a 94/100. That is an extremely favorable rating. Metacritic gave Casino Royale an 80/100. Also a pretty good rating. Well, here is NegativeMode's rating: on a scale of 0-100, I give it a 2. TWO. It was horrendous. The acting was fine and there were some good action scenes, but that's about it. The movie was 2.5 hours but felt more like 16. The biggest problem, though, is that I have absolutely no clue what the hell the movie was about. As far as I could tell, there were some angry Africans, a poker game, testicular torture, and a nice car. How those things fit together, or whether there was a story involved, I have no idea. I couldn't ruin the movie for you if I tried, as there's nothing to ruin. I'd love to ruin the big finish for you, or the shocking plot twist, or even the effin' story, but this movie had none of that. It was crap. You get the point. Also, no need for the testicular torture. That's just wrong.
What was worse, this movie wasn't laughably bad, as was Be Cool. That movie was just so terrible, and Travolta so ridiculous, that it was unintentionally funny (same was true about Head of State (although any movie with Nate Dogg has to be at least an 87/100 based on Mr. Dogg alone)). Anyway, don't go see Casino Royale (and if you've already seen it, I'd love to hear your opinions), it's crap (the new bond, whatever his name is, was good, I suppose, although no Connery).