Friday, July 28, 2006
Without getting into details (they're boring), USAir managed to get me into Montreal five hours late last night. Had I been a lemming, and followed the advice of their ticket agents, I'd be getting into Montreal at 3pm today. My flight was cancelled and they put everyone on a flight tomorrow INSTEAD OF THE FLIGHT LEAVING 3 HOURS LATER. How they thought this would be the best solution, I have no idea. Luckily, I was able to get on the later flight over the phone. Of course, by doing so, the ticket agent decided to cancel my flight back from Montreal, so I'm stuck here. That's now been rectified though, so don't worry.
Sorry to ramble. I don't know if that even made sense. If you take anything away from this post, it should be don't fly USAirways. If it's your only choice, rent a car, take a train, bus, anything. It is a terrible airline and deserves to go out of business.
Also, Montreal (what I've seen of it) seems to be pretty cool. I'll go explore now (that I'm off the phone with USAir (which took over an hour (roaming charges too (assholes (USAir, not Verizon))))).
Thursday, July 27, 2006
For those of you who share my intense yearning for cheese, you'll be glad to know that cheese isn't just a culinary delight, it's a symbol of one's wealth and power (as is, I suppose, using pretentious, impersonal, objective pronouns such as "one's"). According to this article by San Francisco magazine:
Clearly, then, I need an illegal cheese dealer. Not just for the cheese itself, but for the power and status associated with it. With a dealer, one day the following passage could, with some luck, dreams, and hard work, apropos to me:
“Illegal cheese is a status symbol,” says Jesse. “If you can bring a fresh raw milk brie or camembert to the table, it says something about your wealth and mobility.” I need to be saying things about my wealth and mobility. I need to speak loudly and carry some strong cheese. I need a dealer.
Those with the right connections get invited to illegal-cheese parties, like one recently thrown by a San Francisco lawyer who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. He tells me he smuggled a wheel of époisses on his way back from vacationing in Vienna. He wrapped the cheese tightly in plastic, buried it in his checked luggage, and invited his 20 most important friends over for an illicit-cheese party. “People looked at me a little differently after that,” he says. “There was more respect—a little bit of a ‘He’s not just a lawyer, he’s a wild cheese smuggler’ type of thing.”So, if anyone has any illegal cheese they'd like to hook me up with, you know how to reach me. I'd love to be referred to as "not just a lawyer, [but] a wild cheese smuggler."*
*I am not, of course, asking for illegal cheese contributions nor connections to underground, cheese-smuggling ruffians. As much as I love cheese, I love the law more, and would never defile my good name for a marvelous piece of brie. Would I?
Monday, July 24, 2006
Tell me about Montreal. Have any of you been there? What should I do? Where do I have to eat? What do I have to see? I know one of you has a favorite strip club I should visit. I've never been there, but from what I've heard, it's a wonderful city. Unfortunately, I only have three full days to see it. So NegativeModers, tell me what I gots to see. Thanks kiddies!
Friday, July 21, 2006
If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, peep this. It's gold, Jerry, GOLD!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The point is that the pants I purchased this past weekend smell really, really nice. I'm not sure why I even smelled them in the first place, but when I took them out of the bag, I did, and boy was that a fine scent. Now I'm torn. Do I wear the pants, hoping that, through the transitive property, I somehow acquire such a pleasant smell? Doing so will almost certainly cause the pants to lose their scent. So do I just keep the pants in my drawer, taking them out only to smell them for brief periods of time? I'm not sure. I know that if I were single, I'd wait until I went to a really nice strip club to wear the pants. The goal being, of course, to get the hottest stripper to smell my awesome smelling pants. Naturally, that would lead to, hopefully, my pants on her floor. I'm not single though, so I'm really in a bind.
I guess I'll just keep the pants in my drawer, smelling them periodically until fall, when it's cooler out and I'll need said pants at my disposal. Any one of you is welcome to stop by and smell my pants if you don't believe me, but trust me, they smell great.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Anyway, if the Washington Post's Date Lab isn't really your thing, here's an excellent "interview" with Eminem by Weird Al. Here's a question, will Weird Al ever not be funny? I don't think so. Enjoy (thanks, as always, You Tube).
Thursday, July 13, 2006
And speaking of crack, I highly recommend FX's new show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I said "speaking of crack" because the 3rd episode featured two of the main characters becoming crackheads). It's very, very funny and, because it's on FX and after ten, they can swear, which makes for better TV, I think. Anyway, check it out tonight at 10pm on FX, I don't think you'll be dissapointed (maybe you will be, but I don't really care).
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The first were Pizzalicious Pringles. Terrible. I really like pizza-flavored snack foods -- pizza Combos for instance. The Pringles taste nothing like pizza, real or artificial (not that the Combos do, but they're good). They taste more like . . . I don't know. I just ate one and I can't adequately describe it. Sort of like sweet, yet rancid, powdered milk mixed with salt and paprika. That sounds about right. Let's just say that they aren't good. I suggest you steer clear. (Here's a review from taquitos.net, a snack review website, although their reviews aren't very informative).
Next were Utz Carolina Style BBQ chips. I have to start off by saying I may be slightly biased, as Utz are my favorite brand of potato chip by far. In fact, if I were stuck with only one snack food for the rest of my life, I'd choose regular Utz chips. Anyway, the Carolina BBQ chips are fantastic. They taste like a mix of salt and vinegar chips and bbq chips. Really, really good. Sort of like eating a mild salt and vinegar chip and then putting a bbq one in your mouth. Good stuff and highly recommended. (The taquitos.net review)
That does it for this installment of potato chip reviews. If I taste any more new ones, I'll be sure to let all of you know. Seacrest out.