Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
After a lovely dinner at Ted's Montana Grill, a mutual decision was made to go see the new James Bond move, Casino Royale. RottenTomatoes rated Casino Royale a 94/100. That is an extremely favorable rating. Metacritic gave Casino Royale an 80/100. Also a pretty good rating. Well, here is NegativeMode's rating: on a scale of 0-100, I give it a 2. TWO. It was horrendous. The acting was fine and there were some good action scenes, but that's about it. The movie was 2.5 hours but felt more like 16. The biggest problem, though, is that I have absolutely no clue what the hell the movie was about. As far as I could tell, there were some angry Africans, a poker game, testicular torture, and a nice car. How those things fit together, or whether there was a story involved, I have no idea. I couldn't ruin the movie for you if I tried, as there's nothing to ruin. I'd love to ruin the big finish for you, or the shocking plot twist, or even the effin' story, but this movie had none of that. It was crap. You get the point. Also, no need for the testicular torture. That's just wrong.
What was worse, this movie wasn't laughably bad, as was Be Cool. That movie was just so terrible, and Travolta so ridiculous, that it was unintentionally funny (same was true about Head of State (although any movie with Nate Dogg has to be at least an 87/100 based on Mr. Dogg alone)). Anyway, don't go see Casino Royale (and if you've already seen it, I'd love to hear your opinions), it's crap (the new bond, whatever his name is, was good, I suppose, although no Connery).
Saturday, November 18, 2006
In other thoughts in my head: have you ever been walking down the street and seen someone and wondered if they were legitimately crazy or not? I'm sure you have. Well, do you think anyone ever thought that about you, i.e., someone saw you on the street and thought, "hmm, I wonder if that guy is crazy?" I'm pretty sure that someone has thought that about me more than once. It was probably the drooling and bloody knife.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Season Shot is shotgun ammunition. Basically, a shotgun shell generally consists of shot, small metal balls (usually lead). Season Shot, instead of using lead pellets in the shells, uses hardened, biodegradable food pellets that melt in the oven. Thus, when you shoot a kill a bird (no mention on the website of buckshot (or humanshot for cannibals (and vice-presidents))) it is pumped, not full of lead, but full of delicious seasoning (cajun, lemon pepper, garlic, teriyaki, or honey mustard), which then melts, and seasons, while you cook. The positives here are obvious: not lead is littered about the environment (or your dinner), you don't have to pick lead shot out of your dinner, and your meal is delicious. What a fantastic product.
Even if you're against hunting this is still an amazingly excellent product. Take your steak and shotgun out to the backyard for target practice. Shoot and season. Two birds, one stone. Very impressive product. I encourage you all to go shoot something with it.
Thanks to Mr. Heerde opening my eyes to Season Shot.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I was walking around trying the samples (cheesesteak, pot roast, spring roll, chocolate, chips and salsa, and pasta) when I noticed a rather peculiar sample: toilet paper. There was a woman there with a standard sample cart (sans the microwave) with several squares of Kirkland toilet paper on it. Curious as to the softness of this toilet paper that was there for the sampling, I did what anyone else would do, pulled down my pants, squatted, and sampled it. I must say, it was quite soft and luxurious on my bare bottom. I give it two thumbs up!
Costco. Is there anything that they don't let you sample?
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
You can read about it here, and here, and here.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
What is even scarier, however, is that we run into a slippery slope of sorts, or a Gordian knot, (or some other intellectually frightening moniker in that vein) in that if we create hotline with rewards with which to report insurance fraud reporting fraud, the frauders will simply move one layer deeper, moving on to insurance fraud reporting fraud reporting fraud and so on and so forth. You can see the problem here. I've seen it and I'm not sure what to do about it. Whatever, I'm sure good old American ambivalence (or NegativeMode ambivalence, if those two are not, indeed, mutually exclusive) will prevail.
* I can't be 100% certain that this is what the billboard actually said, as it was in Spanish, but I'm fairly certain based on my limited Spanish skillz and the picture in the ad. I guess I could be wrong, and it could have been an ad for a $25,000 car that has been in an accident, but I doubt that.
Completely Unrelated Topic: I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but whenever you run spellcheck in Blogger and your post contains the work "blog," the spellchecker highlights "blog" and instead suggests "bloc." Apparently, the word "blog" is not recognized by the Blogger spellchecker. That, my friends, is silly, ridiculous, and ironic.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Well, I'm not sure when they did it, or what brilliant marketing genius over at TBS made the call, but for some reason the channel switched from SBTB to Becker. Becker!?! Seriously, what a heaping piece of poop show. I could understand switching to Friends, Seinfeld, Sex in the City, Mash, Teletubbies, the Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, etc., etc., etc., but Becker? Why not personally come to the home of every TBS lunchtime viewer and smear dog poo on our faces? Personally, I'd find that less offensive.
So, if any TBS executives are reading this (I'm sure there must be a few), please put down the pipe and switch back to SBTB. Other than Ted Danson and his kids, no one wants to watch Becker. Seriously, no one. Thanks.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Accordingly, I will tell you about Punta Cana. First, the keyboard is exceedingly difficult to use. Second only, I´d say, to Iceland. Second, it is hot as balls. Something like 90 degrees but 354% humidity. This is okay, because the pool here is over 400 meters. More of a lagoon, really. Also there is an ocean, or a sea, I´m not sure. I think the sea, but don´t hold me to that. Third, I am somewhat drunk. Seeing as how this is all inclusive, beer and liquor being included, one is compelled to indulge in said indulgences. Fourth, I´m sick of sitting here trying to use up internet time. Instead, I´ll write a limerick:
There once was a man from Punta Cana,
who really enjoyed Punta Cana.
He went to the beach,
And really enjoyed the beach,
And afterward said, "I like Punta Cana."
That´s for you PostiveMode. Seacrest out.
P.S. From the new Mrs. Negativemode: Matt really cannot go a day without posting...even somewhat shitfaced.
P.P.S. I really can go a day without posting, as you all well know. As I said before, we have 20 minutes to kill.
P.P.P.S. We are going to the bar (says Mrs. NegativeMode). Later suckers.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Also, I have to apoligize, but I won't be posting again until next week, as I'm headed to the Dominican Republic for my honeymoon. I'll leave you with this link to the Princeton Review's top party schools for 2007.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
BERLIN (Reuters) - Thieves in Germany stole 7,500 euros ($9,554) from a man by throwing feces at him from behind and then pick-pocketing him while they pretended to help clean up the mess, authorities said Monday.
After withdrawing 8,000 euros from a bank for a holiday the man was struck in the back of the neck by what he described as human feces, police in the central town of Giessen said.
"Immediately afterwards two large women came up to him from behind and claimed they had seen someone excreting down onto the street from above," police said in a statement.
The two women then began briskly wiping the filth from the man's clothing with paper towels they had with them. They were soon joined by a third man, who also came bearing paper towels.
Only when the man went to take his foul-smelling trousers to cleaners did he notice that 7,500 euros had been taken from his back pocket by one of the would-be helpers, police said.
Now that, my friends, is a quality robbery. And, if you're still bored, try this. The highest I've gotten is 20. Simple, but strangely addicting (I guess anything is when you're trying to kill time).
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Also, I just smelled my pants again (I still haven't worn them (it's been way too hot)) and they still smell really nice. Maybe I'll get to wear them this weekend or something.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Without getting into details (they're boring), USAir managed to get me into Montreal five hours late last night. Had I been a lemming, and followed the advice of their ticket agents, I'd be getting into Montreal at 3pm today. My flight was cancelled and they put everyone on a flight tomorrow INSTEAD OF THE FLIGHT LEAVING 3 HOURS LATER. How they thought this would be the best solution, I have no idea. Luckily, I was able to get on the later flight over the phone. Of course, by doing so, the ticket agent decided to cancel my flight back from Montreal, so I'm stuck here. That's now been rectified though, so don't worry.
Sorry to ramble. I don't know if that even made sense. If you take anything away from this post, it should be don't fly USAirways. If it's your only choice, rent a car, take a train, bus, anything. It is a terrible airline and deserves to go out of business.
Also, Montreal (what I've seen of it) seems to be pretty cool. I'll go explore now (that I'm off the phone with USAir (which took over an hour (roaming charges too (assholes (USAir, not Verizon))))).
Thursday, July 27, 2006
For those of you who share my intense yearning for cheese, you'll be glad to know that cheese isn't just a culinary delight, it's a symbol of one's wealth and power (as is, I suppose, using pretentious, impersonal, objective pronouns such as "one's"). According to this article by San Francisco magazine:
Clearly, then, I need an illegal cheese dealer. Not just for the cheese itself, but for the power and status associated with it. With a dealer, one day the following passage could, with some luck, dreams, and hard work, apropos to me:
“Illegal cheese is a status symbol,” says Jesse. “If you can bring a fresh raw milk brie or camembert to the table, it says something about your wealth and mobility.” I need to be saying things about my wealth and mobility. I need to speak loudly and carry some strong cheese. I need a dealer.
Those with the right connections get invited to illegal-cheese parties, like one recently thrown by a San Francisco lawyer who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. He tells me he smuggled a wheel of époisses on his way back from vacationing in Vienna. He wrapped the cheese tightly in plastic, buried it in his checked luggage, and invited his 20 most important friends over for an illicit-cheese party. “People looked at me a little differently after that,” he says. “There was more respect—a little bit of a ‘He’s not just a lawyer, he’s a wild cheese smuggler’ type of thing.”So, if anyone has any illegal cheese they'd like to hook me up with, you know how to reach me. I'd love to be referred to as "not just a lawyer, [but] a wild cheese smuggler."*
*I am not, of course, asking for illegal cheese contributions nor connections to underground, cheese-smuggling ruffians. As much as I love cheese, I love the law more, and would never defile my good name for a marvelous piece of brie. Would I?
Monday, July 24, 2006
Tell me about Montreal. Have any of you been there? What should I do? Where do I have to eat? What do I have to see? I know one of you has a favorite strip club I should visit. I've never been there, but from what I've heard, it's a wonderful city. Unfortunately, I only have three full days to see it. So NegativeModers, tell me what I gots to see. Thanks kiddies!
Friday, July 21, 2006
If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, peep this. It's gold, Jerry, GOLD!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The point is that the pants I purchased this past weekend smell really, really nice. I'm not sure why I even smelled them in the first place, but when I took them out of the bag, I did, and boy was that a fine scent. Now I'm torn. Do I wear the pants, hoping that, through the transitive property, I somehow acquire such a pleasant smell? Doing so will almost certainly cause the pants to lose their scent. So do I just keep the pants in my drawer, taking them out only to smell them for brief periods of time? I'm not sure. I know that if I were single, I'd wait until I went to a really nice strip club to wear the pants. The goal being, of course, to get the hottest stripper to smell my awesome smelling pants. Naturally, that would lead to, hopefully, my pants on her floor. I'm not single though, so I'm really in a bind.
I guess I'll just keep the pants in my drawer, smelling them periodically until fall, when it's cooler out and I'll need said pants at my disposal. Any one of you is welcome to stop by and smell my pants if you don't believe me, but trust me, they smell great.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Anyway, if the Washington Post's Date Lab isn't really your thing, here's an excellent "interview" with Eminem by Weird Al. Here's a question, will Weird Al ever not be funny? I don't think so. Enjoy (thanks, as always, You Tube).
Thursday, July 13, 2006
And speaking of crack, I highly recommend FX's new show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I said "speaking of crack" because the 3rd episode featured two of the main characters becoming crackheads). It's very, very funny and, because it's on FX and after ten, they can swear, which makes for better TV, I think. Anyway, check it out tonight at 10pm on FX, I don't think you'll be dissapointed (maybe you will be, but I don't really care).
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The first were Pizzalicious Pringles. Terrible. I really like pizza-flavored snack foods -- pizza Combos for instance. The Pringles taste nothing like pizza, real or artificial (not that the Combos do, but they're good). They taste more like . . . I don't know. I just ate one and I can't adequately describe it. Sort of like sweet, yet rancid, powdered milk mixed with salt and paprika. That sounds about right. Let's just say that they aren't good. I suggest you steer clear. (Here's a review from taquitos.net, a snack review website, although their reviews aren't very informative).
Next were Utz Carolina Style BBQ chips. I have to start off by saying I may be slightly biased, as Utz are my favorite brand of potato chip by far. In fact, if I were stuck with only one snack food for the rest of my life, I'd choose regular Utz chips. Anyway, the Carolina BBQ chips are fantastic. They taste like a mix of salt and vinegar chips and bbq chips. Really, really good. Sort of like eating a mild salt and vinegar chip and then putting a bbq one in your mouth. Good stuff and highly recommended. (The taquitos.net review)
That does it for this installment of potato chip reviews. If I taste any more new ones, I'll be sure to let all of you know. Seacrest out.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Well, you can imagine my surprise when, two weekends ago, I stumbled across a river whose flow shifted throughout the course of the day. Twice to be exact. I happened to be staying on Roosevelt Island in New York City, which is situated directly in the middle of the East River. Being the amateur river-flow enthusiast that I am, I noticed that the River was flowing North to South. However, later in the day, I noticed that the river was now flowing South to North. At first I was mystified and confused. Surely this "river" couldn't have switched directions in the middle of the day. I made it a point to note the direction of the river flow each time I looked at it. Sure enough, the East River changed directions again, back to North to South. Turns out, this is because the East River is not actually a river at all, but rather, a tidal strait. Thus, it changes direction twice a day with the tides. Fascinating, huh?
Anyway, back to my local River, the mighty Susquehanna. With the recent rains here on the East Coast, the river is swelling and predicted to flood sometime tonight or tomorrow. Normally, the River is between 4-5 feet deep outside of my window, but this morning, when I arrived at work, the River was at 11 feet. Since I've been here, the level has risen another 4 feet to 15 feet. At 17 feet, the River is at flood stage. The National Weather Service says the River should crest at 20.5 feet. Sadly, I won't be in the office tomorrow to watch the River crest. Oh well. At least I was able to take a walk down to the River at lunch today to get a closer look....
This ends my ramblings on river flows and levels. Enjoy your day.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Online sex toy retailer LoveHoney.co.uk is advertising what could be the most unusual job ever. The company is searching for a sexually active couple who will be
prepared to test a new pill designed to change the taste of semen.The pill, which is taken as a twice-a-day for 30 days, claims to mask the traditionally salty taste of male ejaculate with a refreshing apple-like flavour.
Successful applicants will take the pill for 30 days and will use an online blog to provide a blow-by-blow account of how the taste of their partner's sexual fluid changes."A payment is offered," says LoveHoney test organiser Ali Carnegie, "But this is really a job that people should do for love rather than money."Couples who are interested in the position can apply by completing the Sperm Tester application form on the LoveHoney Web site. The test product is 100% vegetarian. Both straight and gay couples are encouraged to apply.
Lovehoney.co.uk is the UK’s leading women-friendly online sex toy retailer, forging the way for women to buy sex toys confidently, comfortably, and at the lowest prices in the UK. Brother site www.cocklocker.co.uk continues to do the same for gay men the world over.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The Boston Globe online recently (I think yesterday, but maybe Sunday) published a little photo piece entitled For Whom the Bell Tolls (clever guys) with a paragraph or two updating us on the current exploits of Mr. Belding, Screech, Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, Slater, and, of course, Zack (It's Z-A-C-K Boston Globe writers (and DJ Skuggs), not Z-A-C-H. Unacceptable.) They're a tad harsh on some of the gang, but oh well. I wasn't going to link to the article until I saw the monstrous new Dennis Haskins. Impressive Denny. Also, the Globe article was conspicuously missing updates on Tori Scott, Violet Anne Bickerstaff, Mr. Tuttle, Scud/Ox, Muffin Sangria, Stacey Carosi, and Jonny Dakota. Oh well.
Also, I didn't forget about my promise to write about river-flow dynamics. I know you can't wait.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Also, I think I have some more Jack the Ripper comments. I most certainly don't have any Iceland-extreme-price comments today, but if you'd like some, I can work on that. Thanks.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Second, a random thought: Sometimes I wash my hands before I go to the bathroom, you know, just to change things up.
Friday, June 09, 2006
In short, this guy, Adam, on what appears to be a dare/experiment, has decided to eat nothing buy Monkey Chow for a week (basically dog food, but for primates). He chronicals his week through videos posted on the link above and also through a blog. I encourage you to read it all and watch the videos. They're very funny. More importantly though, what turned out to be a stupid experiment by some guy, egged on by his buddy, has brought international attention to the people in this world, and there are more than anyone would like to think about, who are actually starving. Although Adam may be "starving", eating monkey chow for a week is more nutrition than millions of people in this world are getting.
Anyway, I'll be getting off my horse now. Check out the site though, it's funny and, more importantly, he talks a lot about the consistency and smell of his poo. I know that's all you clowns want to know about anyway.
Special thanks to Trizzout for pointing me to the Monkey Chow Diaries.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that today is 6/6/06, the day of the Beast or the end of the world, or some other such nonsense. Here's an article dispelling some of the myths behind that diabolic number.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Last night, the big one made a fatal mistake. As I was laying in bed, watching TV, he dared to fly within arms reach of me. With the quickness of a cougar I spun, snagged, and caught. He never saw me coming. I threw him into the toilet and flushed him. This morning, as I prepared my bowl of Cocoa Crispies, the small fly committed the same error as his larger brethren. He flew within my reach. BAM. I grabbed him out of the air in the first try and threw him as hard as I could into the sink. He was done. Before yesterday, I don't know that I've ever snatched a fly out of mid-air. Those little buggers are quick. Then, within a 12 hour span, I snagged two; both on the first try. Maybe I'm gaining some sort of super powers. I don't know where this quickness and deadly accuracy came from. Maybe I have other powers that I don't know about. I think tonight I'll get into a bar fight and see what happens. See what these other powers are. Whatever. I just know that if you're a fly and you're reading this, stay the hell away from my home. I'm deadly.
On a somewhat related note. When I was younger, one of my friends was barbecuing with his father on their deck. A songbird landed on the railing near the grill. As it took off to fly away, my friend's dad, in one swift motion, dropped his spatula, snagged the bird out of mid-air, snapped its neck, and threw it to the ground. He then grunted to my friend, "Clean up bird." What an amazing display of both quickness and brutality. They were Russian immigrants. I've always been awed by that display.
Friday, May 19, 2006
I know I've alluded to this before, but, you see, no one knows anything at all about Jack the Ripper. Basically, the only hard facts they have are as follows: a few people died in a certain area of London a long time ago and someone killed them. So, when those are your only facts, it's quite difficult to give an informative tour. If you couple that with the fact that the scenes of all the murders are now either parking garages or alleys between office buildings, you can only imagine the ridiculousness of this tour. Basically, we walked through alleys in London, looking at various parking garages and dumpsters while some struggling actor told us who Jack the Ripper may or may not have been. He could have been a doctor, or lawyer, or random drunk. He could have been an anti-Semite or he could have been a rabbi. He might have killed one person or fifteen. You get the idea. No one knows anything about this person ... it would be like going on an Easter Bunny tour and looking at his favorite hangouts.
Of course, the best theory (if you even want to call them that, they're more like random guesses) that we heard was that "Jack" was actually "Jill", i.e., the killer was a woman. That one really cemented the idea that no one has any idea who this Ripper really was. Well, what do I find on The Australian today? This headline: "DNA Hints at Jill the Ripper." Now, of course, I thought there would be conclusive evidence for a prominent news source to print (upload?) such a headline, but, like everything else Jack the Ripper related, it is entirely speculation. From the article:
JACK the Ripper could well be a Jill.
In a bid to crack the identity of one of the greatest murder mysteries of all time, technology developed in Australia has tested 118-year-old DNA the notorious serial killer may have left behind and built a partial female profile. Scientist Ian Findlay today said the partial profile had been created from saliva possibly from the Ripper on the back of stamps on the envelopes of letters sent to London police.
"It's possible the Ripper could be female but the results are inconclusive," said Prof Findlay, who is the chief scientific officer at the Gribbles Molecular Science forensic lab. He said because the samples were so old, very small and poorly preserved, only a partial profile was built that "didn't reach forensic standards" nor identified an individual.
I've highlighted the appropriate words for you. Basically, they tested the DNA on some old stamps and found no evidence. However, it could be from Jack the Ripper, who could be a woman. Thanks. Very helpful. It's also possible that I'm Jack the Ripper. There just as much conclusive evidence.
Anyway, that's my Jack the Ripper story and rant for the day. Like the expensive prices in Iceland, Jack the Ripper is a frequent topic of this blog, so get used to it. Sorry, but these things fascinate me.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
I heard on NPR today that British (English, to be more specific) Stilton producers, in an effort to educate people and encourage them to try eating Blue Stilton cheese as part of everyday meals, have commissioned a Stilton perfume. I suppose that's a good and unique marketing scheme, but if you ask me, the last thing anyone would want to smell like is blue cheese. Don't get me wrong, I sprinkle blue cheese on my salad every night; I love the stuff. But to smell like it, no thanks. According to the press release, the perfume is "eminently wearable". I encourage all of you to try this perfume and report back to me, as I'm curious to see the results. I suppose, if you really want to smell like blue cheese, you could just rub some on your face. It's probably good for your skin anyway....
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I want to take a moment to point out that today is the 20th anniversary of the release of one of my favorite childhood (fine, adulthood) movies ... Short Circuit. Released on May 9, 1986, and starring Steve Guttenburg, Ally Sheedy and a bunch of other people I never heard of including the funny Indian guy, Short Circuit is the story of the lovable Johnny Five who just so happens to come alive.
I know you all remember and love this movie. Who didn't? In honor of the anniversary, do yourself a favor and check out Johnny-Five.com, dedicated to our favorite robot. Happy 20th Johnny!
Monday, May 08, 2006
I do want to briefly mention this quote from the 8th paragraph of the above-linked article: "His friend Steve Parsons entered the competition sporting a cricketing outfit and an "English" mustache -- thin with fine, long points, sported by Victorian army officers and possibly Jack the Ripper." Ca'mon. Enough with this Jack the Ripper nonsense. No one knows a thing about him, including whether he even existed or whether he was even a he (as opposed to a she, geniouses), and you're going to say that he may have had an English moustache? Of course he could have. He could have had anything, including a glass eye and Jack shaved into his head. No one knows. Just admit that. I'm talking to you London.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
CROWN POINT A Highland man, who claims to have mailed boxes of "cat poop sandwiches" to Lake County courts Monday to protest a small claims case, has locked himself in his home in anticipation of being arrested.
"I'm not coming out of this house," he said. Richard Carroll, 54, is the same man who early last month sent a package to Lake Superior Court Magistrate Michael Pagano that a hazardous materials team examined.
Carroll, who insists he's not violent, said he believes he's making his stand. The six boxes mailed this week contained the excrement, bread and torn up money with some change thrown in, he said. "They all say I'm crazy, but I'm crazy about my rights," he said.
Authorities said they are aware of his actions. The owner of three cats, Carroll, who also goes by the name Vampire Killer, said he intends to mail similar boxes weekly. He claims he will only leave his home if police arrive with an arrest warrant and a federal agent.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
No Pants Day is simple to celebrate ... just don't wear pants this Friday. According to this article from PhillyBurbs.com:
So, I encourage you to participate in both holidays voraciously. What does that mean? Well, just drink as much as you can while pantless. Really, I don't see how anything other than good can come from that. You might want to take the day off, but that's your call. As to whether I'll be celebrating, I guess the answer is yes. Not so much because of the holidays though, but because I drink pantless everyday. Feel free to join me....
It's hard to say what No Pants Day commemorates other than simply the
freedom associated with not wearing pants.
Participants are urged to show up for work or play in modest boxer shorts
or other types of underwear, such as bloomers, slips or briefs.
But whatever you do, don't wear pants,
and wearing skirts, dresses or kilts doesn't count.
Monday, May 01, 2006
In case you are curious about the holiday, check out the American Bar Association's special Law Day website. Further, if you're not sure what to do to celebrate, the ABA suggests that you "focus on our heritage of liberty under law and how the rule of law makes our Democracy possible." Or, you could go get a hooker and some blow and party like the Law Day it is. Your call. Anyway, enjoy this lovely holiday, and don't forget to get your Law Day merchandise here.
Special thanks to KetchupMode for the heads up on this important day.
Friday, April 28, 2006
In all seriousness though, these would make a great gift for you child or husband. What better way to teach the one you love the art of self-defense than by purchasing a fake team jersey with bible verses on it? I guarantee that they'll get their ass kicked for looking like a giant douche, and with time, will learn to defend themseves. Most likely, faster than any Judo or Karate class would teach them, and at a fraction of the cost. Here's the bastardized Iverson jersey. Go Isaiah!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Please, go enjoy a free cone for me (and two for Q, as I don't think there is a Ben & Jerry's in Kabul as of yet). And, if you're lucky enough to be at the State College Ben & Jerry's, be sure to pick up the smuttiest pornographic magazine in the back of the store because, nothing says "class" quite like free ice cream and dirty, dirty porn. Enjoy!
Monday, April 24, 2006
So, even though this is 19 days belated (because, say it together now, I'm an idiot), Happy Birthday NegativeMode. I'm now one year older (as a blogger) and clearly, one year wiser.
I hope this year is as good as the next.
Just thought that you should know. Not that any of you heathens actually feel bad for reading NegativeMode while you're supposed to be working.
Carry on with the web-surfing....
Saturday, April 22, 2006
So now I'm blogging. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to say. That's been the problem. Apparently, I've run out of ideas. That's not really true, but I've become more selective, and that's resulted in less posting by me. Quality over quantity. Not to say that this is quality, but I'm trying to explain to you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm at Penn State. And when you're at Penn State, you drink. So, I'm going to get back to that. Until next time.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
1) Airplane II is the greatest movie ever.
2) Iceland is incredibly expensive.
3) DJ Skuggs has many poo stories.
4) Camp Lo is the greatest hip-hop duo of all time (quite possibly the greatest act in the history of music).
With that in mind, I present to you some groundbreaking news ... I have procured (completely legally as far as I know), a BRAND NEW Camp Lo jam ... wait for it ... Bed Rock. Here it is friends, all new Camp Lo for you. Back and as brilliant as ever. Maybe even PositiveMode will break his silence for this. Enjoy.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I honestly can't think of a sculpture that I would less like to see than the one described in the preceeding sentence. The statute is supposed to support the pro-life agenda, but to me, it seems to be more supportive of the pro-vomiting agenda. I mean, I would have been the first one to tell you how hot Britney was in 2001, but now, the absolute last thing I want to see is a fat, trailor-trash, baby-mama crouching on a bear skin rug with a baby half popped out of her special place. If that isn't enough to cause you not to eat ever again, I don't know what is. Enjoy the picture, I can only imagine what it looks like from the other end (read more here).
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Also, I don't care how unsanitary it may be, you know you're going to drink from the pool. How can you not? And once you start, there will be no stopping. I will go to this spa.
Friday, March 24, 2006
One of the better poo stories I have read in a long time. Eat your heart out DJ Skuggs.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Just to be fair, I should point out that for all of the crap I write, and articles I link to, about how expensive Iceland is, I no doubt think that it's worth it. Although expensive, it is perhaps the most beautiful place I've ever been to. Also, I had some of the best times of my whole European vacation there. My advice to you: go to Iceland if you ever have the chance. If you don't have the chance, make one. Just save up before you go. . . .
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
I hope that everyone had a wonderful St. Patty's day. I was lucky enough to spend mine in Kincade's with thousands of my closest, tightly packed in friends. I consider it a pretty good day when I can drink in a bar all day, watch March Madness, and do who knows what afterwards. Good times.
Maybe I'll write more about the trip later ... maybe not. We'll see. Let me tell you this though, and I can't be more serious about this statement: You have not lived until you've heard PositiveMode play Breakaway, by Kelly Clakrson on the accordion ... MINDBLOWING!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
From Steak and BJ Day dot com (whom I commend for creating such a wonderful holiday(and please check out their Steak and BJ Day cards)):
You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!
The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Anyway, here are two galleries of his pavement work. Maybe you've seen his work before (it's been floating around the internet on various webpages), but I think it's worth looking at again. I doubt this will cause as much of a brouhaha as the last OEAwaitic I posted about on here (although this OEAwaitic is named Beever), but enjoy nonetheless. Here are two of my favorites:
Thursday, March 09, 2006
First, the make-up warrants mentioning. I'm really on the fence about how well "disguised" these people actually are. I think the kids are definitely passable. As for the parents, I'm not so sure. The black dad, in white-face, looks an awful lot like Eddie Murphy on that famous SNL skit where he dresses up as a white dude ("White Like Eddie"). It's really hard to judge what you would think in "real life" though. It's not like you'd actually walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, you look a whole lot like a black guy pretending to be white." So, I guess the make-up works.
As far as the show itself, I thought it was very interesting. I'm sure it's highly edited and contrived, but nonetheless, to me, it was an interesting look at race relations in the United States (even the confrontations between the two families when they aren't dressed up). As a cracker myself, I was downright embarrassed by the white parents. They seemed particularly out of touch to me. Their daughter, on the other hand, had a great attitude, really trying to immerse herself into a new culture. As far as the black family, I haven't really formed an opinion about them yet.
Finally, the thing that really stood out to me from the first episode was the differences not between the races, but between the generations. The children seemed much more accepting of all people and all cultures, while the adults, although not "racist" were certainly more aware of race. It seemed like the kids (18 and 16) were much more indifferent about race, saw past skin tone, and focused on people as people. Of course, that's a product of the vastly different times that both generations grew up in.
I could go on for a while, but I'm just rambling now, so I'll end with this: check out the show, at the very least, you'll be entertained. If you watched it last night, I'd love to hear your comments. . . .
EDIT: Here are the metacritic reviews of Black, White.
Monday, March 06, 2006
While we're on the subject of fantastic ideas, check out The Aural Times. It presents the day's top news stories in song. Now, I don't know about you, but I just hate reading the news, or worse yet, listening to those droll news announcers on TV and radio. Singing news makes all the difference. As a good example, listen to this song about the german cat that was found to have a deadly strain of the bird flu. Talk about a deadly melody!
Friday, March 03, 2006
Enjoy. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming shortly.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
I don't have anything to say again today, but in my never-ending quest to entertain, or, at the very least, provide a break from the monotony in your days, here's a picture of one of my favorite characters of all time, Mayor McCheese. I don't really know what happened to him, but man, was he cool. He'd have my vote in any election (I wonder if he was Democratic or Republican -- probably not Green).
If you're really bored, play this game. I thought it was stoopid at first, but man, like all flash games, it's pretty addicitve.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Tomorrow, Tuesday, February 28th is National Pancake Day ("Shrove Tuesday"). In honor of the holiday, IHOP is giving away free pancakes from 7 am - 2 pm. Click here for details (not the picture, which is lying to you about it's clickatude):
On February 28, 2006 from 7 AM to 2 PM IHOPs across the country will celebrate National Pancake Day (also known as Shrove Tuesday) by offering our guests a free short stack of pancakes*. This is going to be our biggest one day celebration in our history.
National Pancake Day has a rich history that stretches back centuries and has always been a time of celebration. National Pancake Day always falls on Fat Tuesday and this year it will be a celebration at IHOP.
So gather your friends, family and neighbors and come to your local IHOP and enjoy a short stack of pancakes on us. All we ask is that you consider making a donation to a great charity like First Book or other local, worthy cause. Where else would you celebrate National Pancake Day than IHOP? See you there.
* Limit one free short stack per guest. Valid for dine-in only, no to go orders. Not valid with any other offer, special, coupon, or discount. Valid at participating restaurants only, while supplies last.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
More importantly though, it raises a lot of questions (in my mind at least). First and foremost, does anyone else think this pillow if pretty freaky? I can understand being used to sleeping in the bed with someone, but why not just turn a regular pillow sideways or use a blanket or something? Why use a quarter of a man. The most important parts are missing anyway (I realize that is highly debatable).
Second, would it be gay for me to sleep with that pillow (not that there's anything wrong with that)? Maybe, as a man, I really enjoy female company in my bed and can only get a truly restful sleep when there's a pretty lady beside me. Would it be okay for me to get this pillow to help me sleep? I think not, but maybe that's just silly and homophobic.
Anyway, for those of you who have trouble sleeping at night without another in your bed, this one's for you. Also, please order me one. Thanks.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Boston discount retailer Building 19 recently advertised a sale for "wifebeaters," and let's just say the reaction was less than positive. According to this article from WCVB-TV in Boston (where I also got the picture from), the flier went to far, and upset advocates for domestic violence victims. None of this is surprising, of course. Perhaps if Building 19 had been a regular reader of NegativeMode, they would have known that society isn't ready to publicly accept the widely used "wifebeater" in corporate communications. Nevertheless, I'm sticking to my prediction that twenty years or so down the road, you will see "wifebeater" on packages of undershirts ... just not yet.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Also, good luck to anyone out there taking the bar exam today.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Also, here's the link to the Cheney's Got a Gun song, requested yesterday in the comments to the Sawyer song post.
Happy Friday. Enjoy the songs.
Upon stumbling across the Pantalaine website last night, my first reaction was amazement. Actually, it was closer to speechlessness. Was this product really for sale? Who would sell such a thing/things? More importantly, who would buy such a thing? Once I viewed all of their various products, however, my BS detector started immediately blaring in my head. I mean really, a jacket built for two people to wear so that they're always hugging? Jeans with a built in compartment on the leg to carry around your new-born child? A triple hoodie that allows three people to stare at each other all night? A dress that also functions as an afghan to cover the whole couch? I declare shenanigans!
However, even if you do think it's fake (I do), it's still brilliant. Take some time and peruse the online store at your leisure. They have some great products aside from the ones that I've listed above. Further, according to the website, they're located in South Bend, IN, home of Notre Dame. If anyone who reads this lives in South Bend, please do me a favor: let me know if they exist or not ... and if they do, please buy me a pair of sweatpants with four arms attached to them ... I really think the ladies would love the chance to rub my leg through my sweatpants while at the same time keeping their arms warm. Thanks.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Anyway, here's a link to the Sawyer, Sawyer, Locke song. If you watch Lost, maybe you'll find it funny, maybe not. If you don't watch Lost, maybe you'll find it funny, maybe not. Maybe it's not that funny at all, and I'm just tired and delirious. Either way, it's my blog, and I have nothing else to say, so I'm posting it. So tell me, funny/not funny?
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
According to this article in the Korea Times, South Korean b-boys have been dominating international competition (raise your hand if you realized there even was international b-boy competition). South Korea loves kickin' it old skool so much, they've apparently have special b-boy plays. From the article:
SJ B-boys Theater, an exclusive theater for B-boy performances was built near Hong-ik University in Seoul. The performance hall of 500 audience seats is always crowded with those coming to see the performance "The Ballerina Who Fell in Love With a B-boy'' featuring the dynamic story of B-boys.I thought for sure that the world had reached the pinacle of b-boy entertainment/media with the release of You Got Served. Who would have thought that there would be "The Ballerina Who Fell in Love With a B-Boy" showing at an exclusive theater in Seoul? Bravo South Korea. Bravo.