Friday, September 29, 2006

Saved By The Smell

As you all know, I like to report on all things Screech in this space. The guy is pretty interesting and seems like quite an ass. As you also may or may not know, there is now a Screech sex tape making the rounds. I haven't seen it, nor do I plan to, but I would be remiss if I didn't alert you to this new Screech related development.

You can read about it here, and here, and here.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

A Fraudulent Conundrum

I saw a billboard today offering a $25,000 reward for reporting insurance fraud.* That got me thinking, obviously insurance fraud is a fairly commonplace crime (feel free to do your own research if you wish; you can start at, but, for $25,000, I'm sure there are people out there who've contemplated insurance fraud reporting fraud. In fact, I'm confident that there have been people who have actually committed insurance fraud reporting fraud, possibly even pocketing the $25,000. My searches for "insurance fraud reporting fraud" and "reporting insurance fraud fraud" didn't really turn up much, so as far as I can tell, there is not research as of yet on the amount of insurance fraud reporting fraud that goes on in this country (in either English or Spanish), so I am using my bully pulpit (I'm not sure whether or not a blog counts as a bully pulpit or not. Probably not, but whatever.) to call for a study. I can only imagine how much we, as Americans, are forced to pay each year due to people reporting fraudulent insurance fraud.

What is even scarier, however, is that we run into a slippery slope of sorts, or a Gordian knot, (or some other intellectually frightening moniker in that vein) in that if we create hotline with rewards with which to report insurance fraud reporting fraud, the frauders will simply move one layer deeper, moving on to insurance fraud reporting fraud reporting fraud and so on and so forth. You can see the problem here. I've seen it and I'm not sure what to do about it. Whatever, I'm sure good old American ambivalence (or NegativeMode ambivalence, if those two are not, indeed, mutually exclusive) will prevail.

* I can't be 100% certain that this is what the billboard actually said, as it was in Spanish, but I'm fairly certain based on my limited Spanish skillz and the picture in the ad. I guess I could be wrong, and it could have been an ad for a $25,000 car that has been in an accident, but I doubt that.

Completely Unrelated Topic: I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but whenever you run spellcheck in Blogger and your post contains the work "blog," the spellchecker highlights "blog" and instead suggests "bloc." Apparently, the word "blog" is not recognized by the Blogger spellchecker. That, my friends, is silly, ridiculous, and ironic.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

You've Got to be Kidding Me

I'm not sure how many of you are able to watch television at noon on a weekday, but nevertheless, I feel obligated to point out the terrible injustice perpetrated on the viewing public by TBS at midday. In the past, the noon to one o'clock hour on TBS entertained us all with two episodes of Saved By The Bell. I can't think of a better way to greet the afternoon than with the gang from Bayside High. Even if you aren't home at lunch, you can always tivo the episodes for later enjoyment.

Well, I'm not sure when they did it, or what brilliant marketing genius over at TBS made the call, but for some reason the channel switched from SBTB to Becker. Becker!?! Seriously, what a heaping piece of poop show. I could understand switching to Friends, Seinfeld, Sex in the City, Mash, Teletubbies, the Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, etc., etc., etc., but Becker? Why not personally come to the home of every TBS lunchtime viewer and smear dog poo on our faces? Personally, I'd find that less offensive.

So, if any TBS executives are reading this (I'm sure there must be a few), please put down the pipe and switch back to SBTB. Other than Ted Danson and his kids, no one wants to watch Becker. Seriously, no one. Thanks.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Moustache Storage

Speaking of moustaches, it is weird that I have a drawer devoted solely to my fake moustaches? I mean, one has to have somewhere to put one's moustaches, right? You wouldn't want your fake moustaches comingling with rubberbands or marbles or chicken bones.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


I was at the CVS today, and after much searching, I was able to locate Pinaud moustache wax. Now, I don't have a moustache, nor if I did would I necessarily use moustache wax (although there is a good chance I would for formal occasions like, say, a Christening or Pinochle league games). However, if I did have a moustache and use wax for grooming said moustache, I would certainly entrust my wax needs to no brand other than Pinaud. It comes with a tiny moustache comb for applying the wax. I'm glad CVS carries Pinaud moustache wax. It's comforting.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


For those of you who don't know, my real name is Bob Cobb.

You, however, may call me Maestro.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Trip to the Store

I just walked over to the Safeway (grocery store) for some pizza sauce. My wife is going to make me a pizza bagel (one for her too). So I walked over and got pizza sauce. I saw while I was there, though, that Ragu was on sale, so I bought three jars. I figure that they don't go bad unopened so it's all good. Anyway, I went to the checkout, paid for my pizza sauce and three jars of Ragu and picked up my bag (the checkout lady bagged my items for me) to leave. Now, apparently, the Safeway ran out of normal grocery bags, so my four jars were placed in a large, white, kitchen trash bag. I walked out of Safeway with a giant trashbag (30-gallon I think) with four jars of tomato sauce in it. It was really weird. Just thought I'd share.