Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A Pants Conundrum

This past weekend I bought a new pair of pants from Abercrombie & Fitch. Generally, I'm not a very big fan of that store. It's not that I don't like their merchandise (I do), it's just that I'm too old to wear it. If I were a millionaire (or billionaire) playboy, and didn't have to wear nice clothes, I'd wear A&F gear all the time (I do wear their shorts whenever it so happens that I'm wearing shorts). As it is, I can't wear the destroyed rags they sell to work. Also, the music they play in the store is way too loud. It's louder than a lot of clubs, which is just crazy when you're shopping for clothes. Whatever, that's not the point.

The point is that the pants I purchased this past weekend smell really, really nice. I'm not sure why I even smelled them in the first place, but when I took them out of the bag, I did, and boy was that a fine scent. Now I'm torn. Do I wear the pants, hoping that, through the transitive property, I somehow acquire such a pleasant smell? Doing so will almost certainly cause the pants to lose their scent. So do I just keep the pants in my drawer, taking them out only to smell them for brief periods of time? I'm not sure. I know that if I were single, I'd wait until I went to a really nice strip club to wear the pants. The goal being, of course, to get the hottest stripper to smell my awesome smelling pants. Naturally, that would lead to, hopefully, my pants on her floor. I'm not single though, so I'm really in a bind.

I guess I'll just keep the pants in my drawer, smelling them periodically until fall, when it's cooler out and I'll need said pants at my disposal. Any one of you is welcome to stop by and smell my pants if you don't believe me, but trust me, they smell great.


Q. A. Shah said...

Odd that even your post tangentially deals with the fecal content of air? Right?

I hope those pants are well suited for that.

Circe said...

Just wear them and get it over with.

After the first time it doesn't hurt anymore.

NegativeMode said...

No doubt you're correct Circe. I've just smelled them now and, while still quite enticing, the scent is slowly fading. Really though, the reason I have not worn my new pants yet is because the opportunity has not presented itself. They're not nice enough to be worn to work (they're more for frat parties and whatnot (as most Abercrombie clothes are want to be)) and it's been hot as Hades on the weekends. Perhaps this weekend in Montreal. That, I think, would be the perfect solution to the pants conondrum.