In case you're thinking of attacking me while I sleep, don't. I keep a bat under my bed. If I hear you so much as crack open my door, I will awake instantly, and in one smooth, cat-like motion, grab my bat and pound you on the head. You don't want that, do you?
For those of you who may not have the reflexes and speed that I do, I'd encourage you to purchase James McAdam's bedside table. Why? Because, Mr. McAdam's table is no ordinary table. Rather, it is a club and shield to provide you with a medieval defense against intruders (I don't really know what to tell you if they have a gun. Pray?). Just look at it:
Pretty awesome huh? No way you're going to get robbed or attacked when you swiftly disassemble your table and attack like so. I'm 99.8% certain it's better than a gun.
Product page here.