Monday, December 19, 2005

Some Sex Advice

For those of you who were planning on having sex at the speed of light (DJ Skuggs?), please read this post in its entirety first. According to Dr. John Marshall, Ph.D., it is probably not advisable to have sex at such a high velocity. Who would have thunk? Here is his list of the Top 10 Reasons Why Sex at the Speed of Light is not an Advisable Form of Procreation (this is just the list, to read the reasons, which are pretty amusing/disturbing, click here):

10. Penile Length Contraction
9. Penile Black Hole Formation
8. Penis Vaproisation
7. Relatavistic Flaming Semen
6. Time-Dialated Necrophilia
5. Lack of Visual Appeal
4. Religious Values
3. Property Damage
2. Deafening Sonic Booms
1. Excessive Dietary Requirements


PositiveMode said...

It's spelled "advice".

NegativeMode said...

Um, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

And Bill, feed the cats.