To the Population of Earth: Enough with the Narnia-Rap Parodies!!

I'm going to keep this short so as not to distract from the very recent post on Lazy Sunday parodies appearing immediately below this, but enough is enough already.

Friday Rhyme Time

No doubt most of you are by now familiar with the Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg Chronicles of Narnia rap video from Saturday Night Live: Lazy Sunday. I think we can all agree that it's pretty good. What you may not be familiar with, however, is the West Coast response, Lazy Monday. And even if you are familiar with them, what do you know about the Midwest's response to both: Lazy Muncie? All three are pretty good in my opinion, but of the two copies, I like Lazy Muncie better -- awesome Jim Davis (Garfield creator) cameo. (In the interest of full disclosure, there are a few other ones out there but they're pretty terrible, so I'm not posting links.)

Also, here's the link to the Cheney's Got a Gun song, requested yesterday in the comments to the Sawyer song post.

Happy Friday. Enjoy the songs.

A Fascinating Fashion Find!

Upon stumbling across the Pantalaine website last night, my first reaction was amazement. Actually, it was closer to speechlessness. Was this product really for sale? Who would sell such a thing/things? More importantly, who would buy such a thing? Once I viewed all of their various products, however, my BS detector started immediately blaring in my head. I mean really, a jacket built for two people to wear so that they're always hugging? Jeans with a built in compartment on the leg to carry around your new-born child? A triple hoodie that allows three people to stare at each other all night? A dress that also functions as an afghan to cover the whole couch? I declare shenanigans!

However, even if you do think it's fake (I do), it's still brilliant. Take some time and peruse the online store at your leisure. They have some great products aside from the ones that I've listed above. Further, according to the website, they're located in South Bend, IN, home of Notre Dame. If anyone who reads this lives in South Bend, please do me a favor: let me know if they exist or not ... and if they do, please buy me a pair of sweatpants with four arms attached to them ... I really think the ladies would love the chance to rub my leg through my sweatpants while at the same time keeping their arms warm. Thanks.

Sawyer, Sawyer, Locke

I really, really like Lost.

Anyway, here's a link to the Sawyer, Sawyer, Locke song. If you watch Lost, maybe you'll find it funny, maybe not. If you don't watch Lost, maybe you'll find it funny, maybe not. Maybe it's not that funny at all, and I'm just tired and delirious. Either way, it's my blog, and I have nothing else to say, so I'm posting it. So tell me, funny/not funny?

Valentine's Day Greetings

My Valentine's Day cards to you, my readers (please choose which one is more apt):

OR

Thanks to I-Mockery.com for those classic cards. You can find about 15 others here, on their website. Happy Valentine's Day fo' real though. . . .

Kickin' it Wit My SoKo Homies

As you may or may not know, one of the best movies of all time is You Got Served. If you didn't know about that, well, you best recognize. Anyway, an absolutely fantastic movie (with some tremendous acting performances turned in by Omarion, J-Boog, and Lil' Fizz to name a few). Of course, you already know all of this. What you didn't know, was that b-boying is taking Korea by storm.

According to this article in the Korea Times, South Korean b-boys have been dominating international competition (raise your hand if you realized there even was international b-boy competition). South Korea loves kickin' it old skool so much, they've apparently have special b-boy plays. From the article:

SJ B-boys Theater, an exclusive theater for B-boy performances was built near Hong-ik University in Seoul. The performance hall of 500 audience seats is always crowded with those coming to see the performance "The Ballerina Who Fell in Love With a B-boy'' featuring the dynamic story of B-boys.

I thought for sure that the world had reached the pinacle of b-boy entertainment/media with the release of You Got Served. Who would have thought that there would be "The Ballerina Who Fell in Love With a B-Boy" showing at an exclusive theater in Seoul? Bravo South Korea. Bravo.

Sunday's Picture and Random Question

Doesn't seem very practical, does it?

Random Question: Has anyone, in the history of telephones, ever received a phone call from the police/phone company/FBI warning them in a very scary, ominous voice that the threatening phone calls that they have been receiving are "coming from inside of the house!"?

I really doubt that's ever happened in real life, even though it seems to happen fairly often in fiction. Any thoughts?

California Here We Come

I'm not really sure what to make of the OC anymore. Really. I don't even know how to describe it. It's like it has become a parody of itself. They must be going down to central casting, grabbing random people, writing them into the script for an episode or two, and then firing them willy-nilly. I don't get it. Still, I find the show to be entertaining just because it is so ridiculous. Anyway, that's not the reason for this post.

This is the reason for this post. It is an article from the Yale Daily News and it's fantastic. Basically, it's a primer for international politics/relations. According to the article:

Many of us don't understand the implications of a Hamas victory in Palestine, yet we understand the consequences of Marissa Cooper answering her sister's cell phone when Johnny the Surfer calls it on "The O.C."

But maybe if we pretend the characters in "The O.C" are actually countries, then we'll understand what's going on in the world.

Welcome to the I.R., bitch. This is how it's done in International Relations. . . .

So you get the idea. Read the whole article, it's great. Not only will you get to read about the OC that you all love, but you may learn a thing or two about the world. Thanks to Sinoway for sending me the link.

Thursday's Confession

I think Breakaway, by Kelly Clarkson, is fantastic. I really do. There's not much more I can say to elucidate or elaborate on that point. I think it has something to do with the fact that I wake up to one of her songs 2 out of 5 days of the week (the radio station on my alarm clock seriously plays one of KC's songs at 7 am every morning). Either way, it is a dirty little secret of mine and now you know. Hopefully, we're closer now because of this.

Call Me Smooth....

Was anyone else reminded of that Saturday Night Live commercial, with Will Ferrell doing the voiceover, for the Platinum Mach 14 when they saw the commercials for the new Gillette Fusion during the Superbowl? That can't be too far down the road, can it? I remember thinking how ground-breaking it was when the Mach 3 came out (SNL actually did a commercial for a crazy 3-blade razor on their first ever broadcast). Then the Schick Quattro. Now the Fusion, which actually has 6 blades. Anyone want to take the over/under on years 'til we see the Platinum Mach 14? As Dave Barry wrote in this article: "Yes, the razor-technology race shows no signs of slowing. And who knows what lies ahead? Razors with 10 blades? Twenty blades? A thousand blades? Razors that go backward in time and shave your ancestors? Exciting times lie ahead, shaving consumers!"
Related Note: I shaved with the Gillette Fusion Power this morning. It was actually a pretty nice shave, although I find the vibrating razor a little distracting. Also, I think the head pieces with the blades on these things are starting to get a little unwieldy, which may be the problem for the Mach 14. Finally, I didn't try it, but I would be fairly terrified to use this thing on any areas below the belt-line -- way too many blades, especially since there are blades facing two directions. Just a heads up. Anyway, I still give it 4 out of 5 stars.

At Least He Was Honest

From ASU Web Devil Police Beat:

An 18-year-old male ASU student was arrested Sunday night at Hayden Library and charged with indecent exposure and public sexual indecency. The suspect allegedly pulled his pants and underwear to his mid-thighs to masturbate while watching pornography on his laptop. When asked why he had gone to the library to view pornography and masturbate, the suspect allegedly told police, "To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn't good enough."

It's refreshing to see people telling the truth these days; and what kind of major university doesn't have dorm internet fast enough to prevent its students from having to go to the library to masterbate?

2005 World Champions: The Pittsburgh Steelers

Final Score: Pittsburgh Steelers 21 - Seattle Seahawks 10

I've been waiting 26 years of my life for the Steelers to win the Superbowl. They did that tonight. Maybe I'll write more about it tomorrow ... I'm too happy right now. Amazing. What a great run. Go STEELERS!!!!!

Presumptuousness, Psychology and The New Yorker

I recently sent in a subscription card for The New Yorker and started receiving the magazine. I missed the first billing notice, and was somewhat late on responding to the second one, so just yesterday the third notice arrived in my mailbox. And it reads:

Dear W. Walsh:

Our records indicate that despite our sending you two previous requests for payment, we still have not received payment for your subscription order.

If we don't receive your payment by return mail, we must suspend service of your issues.[Reader Note: I think they already started doing this, and if I never see this magazine again, good riddance, as you will see why in the next paragraph]

We don't want to do that. I'm sure you don't want us to. Each week, we've been sending you a fresh, bright, new issue of The New Yorker, packed with stimulating articles, captivating stories, a special sophisticated humor you won't find anywhere else. Without it, chances are your life (and you) won't be quite as interesting anymore.

But that's up to you, W. Walsh.

Unfortunately, my check passed this notice in the mail and I guess I'll be subscribing to the magazine. On the upside, those who know me will get to enjoy another two years of interestingness on my part. Enjoy.

Picture Time!

I thought that today I would post some pictures for you to enjoy. This first picture is of me when at summer camp. We used to have a hay barrel tossing competition. I did okay, but I would have done better if I ate breakfast that morning.
Here I am dressed up for school (can you guess which one is me?). I know those outfits aren't what you might think a traditional American student might wear to school, what with the Japanese kanji and all, but that is just what we wore for gym class. It encouraged group work I was told.
Here are some of my school friends trying to pull an 18 wheeler full of hot dogs, board games, and shoe polish from out of a ditch that it got stuck in. You can't see the truck in this picture, but man, was it heavy.

Finally, here are some kids from a rival school trying to pull the same truck back into the ditch right after we got it out. I don't know why they would do that. I guess that they're just assholes.
Hope you liked my pictures.

Paging Dr. Silver, Dr. Mel Silver

BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Mel Silver, a.k.a. Matthew Laurance is now in his seventh season as a sideline reporter for the Duke men's basketball team's radio network. If you are a Georgetown University Law School 2005 graduate, who happened to be in Section 4, and had contracts with one Girardeau Spann, this is indeed breaking news. If not, it's still breaking news, but perhaps not as interesting.

The Roanoke Times, last Wednesday, published a piece updating all of us on the whereabouts of actor Matthew Laurance, most widely known for his role as Mel Silver in Beverly Hills: 90210. I'll just post it all here in it's entirety, because, let's face it, Mel Silver is awesome. Curiously missing from the piece, however, is any mention of Laurance's starring role on Girardeau A. Spann's 2002 DVD: The Contracts Experience (Duke U. Sch. L. DVD-ROM 2002). I'm not really sure how the Times neglected to mention that in this article (or on his IMDB profile for that matter). Anyway, the article:

Matthew Laurance used to be on "Beverly Hills, 90210." On Thursday, he will be in Blacksburg, 24061.

For many years, Laurance made his living as an actor in Los Angeles. But he is now in his seventh season as the sideline reporter for the Duke men's basketball team's radio network.

That's right -- the Duke broadcasts not only have a play-by-play announcer and a color commentator but also a sideline reporter. Lawrence makes his observations from behind the Duke bench. He can offer plenty of insight because coach Mike Krzyzewski lets him listen in on the huddles during timeouts.

"I have a different feel than they [his announcing partners] get because I'm right behind the bench," said Laurance, who will be at Virginia Tech on Thursday for the Hokies' game with the Blue Devils. "I try to be a little more emotional -- what would the fans like to hear about what's going on?"

Laurance used to star in one of Fox's first sitcoms, "Duet," and has appeared in such movies as "Eddie and the Cruisers" and "St. Elmo's Fire." He is perhaps best-known for his recurring role on "90210." He played Mel Silver, the father of the character played by Brian Austin Green and the stepfather to the character played by Jennie Garth.

But after 20 years, Laurance grew to hate living in Los Angeles.

"It's such a company town that everything was predicated on being happy in the business, rather than being happy in your life," he said.

Laurance had become friends with Krzyzewski after playing in a charity golf tournament in Durham in the early 1990s. He told Krzyzewski in 1999 that he was unhappy, and the coach suggested he move to Durham and try sportscasting.

Laurance, who played high school basketball, set out to prove that he knew what he was talking about in his new radio gig and wasn't just some Krzyzewski pal.

"At the beginning, there was a lot of, 'Who's this guy coming into town from Hollywood?' " Laurance said.

Laurance also does feature reports for Krzyzewski's TV show. He used to do fundraising for Duke basketball, but he left that job two years ago to become the director of donor relations for a Durham community center named after Krzyzewski's mother. The coach is the chairman of the center, which will open next month.

Laurance misses working as an actor, so he hasn't completely given up his old job. He has appeared on "One Tree Hill," a WB series that films in Wilmington, N.C.