Friday, February 03, 2006

Presumptuousness, Psychology and The New Yorker

I recently sent in a subscription card for The New Yorker and started receiving the magazine. I missed the first billing notice, and was somewhat late on responding to the second one, so just yesterday the third notice arrived in my mailbox. And it reads:

Dear W. Walsh:

Our records indicate that despite our sending you two previous requests for payment, we still have not received payment for your subscription order.

If we don't receive your payment by return mail, we must suspend service of your issues.[Reader Note: I think they already started doing this, and if I never see this magazine again, good riddance, as you will see why in the next paragraph]

We don't want to do that. I'm sure you don't want us to. Each week, we've been sending you a fresh, bright, new issue of The New Yorker, packed with stimulating articles, captivating stories, a special sophisticated humor you won't find anywhere else. Without it, chances are your life (and you) won't be quite as interesting anymore.

But that's up to you, W. Walsh.

Unfortunately, my check passed this notice in the mail and I guess I'll be subscribing to the magazine. On the upside, those who know me will get to enjoy another two years of interestingness on my part. Enjoy.


NegativeMode said...

I did notice that recently, you were slightly more interesting. I just thought that you added a new voice/personality in your head. I guess it was just the New Yorker. Either way, I'm glad you'll stay just as interesting.

I do have one question. Is your interestingness proportional to the number of New Yorkers you receive? If you double your subscription will you double your intrigue? Or do you have to read it more to become more interesting? (Did they let you now before ordering that you would become more interesting, to entice you, or was it just an added bonus of ordering the New Yorker?)

Maybe I need to subscribe. I'm feeling pretty dull.

dj skuggs said...

the question is, is the new yorker cultured enough to appreciate this?

optimus dime said...

The New Yorker's "special sophisticated humor" can be summed up quite succinctly.

Oh, Skuggs, congrats on landing the role of "glass joe" in that video.

brownbear said...

That video was awesome.

Look at it positively Negative Mode, you will get to see the ridiculous ads in the back of the New Yorker. How else would you keep up with the joneses? I mean doesn't everyone need a computerized swim-in-place lap pool in their basement? And I bet that they have good articles about port.