Monday, May 02, 2005

Ninja's Unite!

Although this blog is growing faster than you could possibly imagine (about 2 new readers every 9 days), I still know the majority of my readers personally. That being said, I also know that the majority of that majority are non compos mentis (legaleese for "a few chickens short of a henhouse"), and find humor in, shall we say, "non-conventional" situations (I also know that at least three of my readers strive to be/already are ninjas). As such, I bring you Miscellaneous Blades. Miscellaneous Blades sells all sorts of swords, daggers, foils, etc. on the internet. While this may sound illegal, Blades has covered their asses with the following disclaimer:
The weapons sold on this site are meant for complete and utter annihilation of the buyer's target. If you are buying these weapons for research, art, collections, or other non-killing purposes, then we may choose to nullify the lifetime warranty on your blade. We will also send hitmen to your location so that you can personally see first-hand the sharp, sleek, sexy design of any of our blades, in addition to the only single one purpose that they all serve. Also note that killing is illegal in the United States, and pretty much everywhere on Earth except for Canada. These blades are only sold legally in the US if sold without the intent to kill. The only justified use behind these blades is to "eliminate" or to "solve" a problem who has been annoying you.
As you can see, these blades are perfectly legal. I'd encourage you all to peruse the site, especially the products page and the comparisons, it's very funny. Great job to Joivan Hendrick who created the site . . . he deserves that A.

On a completely unrealted topic: since most of you, my readers are deviants (see above), I thought that you should know that bestiality is perfectly legal in Sweden, as long as prosecutors can't prove that the animal suffered physical or psychological injury (read article here). Do with that information what you will. . . .

12 comments:

Circe2020 said...

Kickass! I am actually a good swordsman..it was the only way I could kiss my brother's ass at any form of martial art. He was way better than me at nunchucks and throwing stars...something which still irritates me..

I do, however, have a scar under one eyebrow from a rather unfair fight...he didn't bother to tell me that he had sharpened his samurai sword...I had a VERY mean older brother growing up.

Circe2020 said...

"kick" his ass I mean..

I think that I suffered brain damage( February, I had an extremely high fever, I passed out in my living room and hit my head on the coffee table...blacked out for awhile).

So I'm just going to blame any and all spelling or sentence structure on that. :)

NegativeMode said...

Perhaps with your sword skillz you could take on PositiveMode. Word on the street is that he used to be quite the fencer back in the mid to late nineties, although I doubt he could handle any more manly than an epee or saber.

PositiveMode said...

In fact, I was not even manly enough to handle an epee or sabre. Rather, I preferred the finer art of the foil, which, while smaller than the other two weapons, is most true to the traditions of dueling, and unlike the (second-best) epee, retains the rules of right-of-way - adding a cerebral element to the discipline. My feelings for the sabre wing of the sport border on contempt, although I have much respect for the skill of many sabre fencers.

Circe2020 said...

We were a bit less structured than that. He just handed me a sword(of unknown origins) and we just beat the hell out of each other with them. Most of them(since we were kids) had BS edges to them...why my parents actually bought them I'll never know.

Better than our jaunt into archery...Scott thought it was funny to shoot arrow AT me when I went up to the target to retrieve mine.

dj skuggs said...

fools, all! real warriors fight only with their hands and their minds. i know, for i am a very skilled fighter. i could take down a 13-year-old jazz drummer no problem.

NegativeMode said...

You might be able to take down said jazz drummer, but there is a slight possibility that he could take you down, especially if he has nunchuck skillz. We've all seen you, and you're going down at the first contact with any sort of wooden/bamboo fighting implement.

NegativeMode said...

I don't think this deserves it's own posting, but this story should teach all ya'll why you shouldn't be playing with swords, knives, or any sharp objects for that matter....

Circe2020 said...

Vulcan Neck Pinch and you will go down my friend.

dj skuggs said...

this is a pet peeve of mine. i am of the very strong belief that "you all" should be contracted with an apostrophe between the "y" and the "all" to make "y'all."

and i believe i have some southern cred.

NegativeMode said...

Sorry, I stand corrected. That should make all y'all hillbillies happy.

Circe2020 said...

I'll jus' git on ma Gator and high-tail it on over there and take care of y'alls Yankee asses!

Hillbillies??? I is the Queen of the Hillbillies!