Friday, July 08, 2005

Ah, the Joy of the Internet

I haven't posted anything perverse or deviant for a while, and we all know that I find perverse and deviant quite amusing, so here you go. These are transcripts from cybersex chats between one Bloodninja (possibly related to Optimus Crime) and various online "girls" (in quotes because you never know these days). They pretty much consist of him being ridiculous, while the "girls" attempt to be sincere until they've had enough. They are fairly vulgar, so if vulgarity offends you, you may want to discoutinue reading for now (although, you wouldn't still be reading NegativeMode if vulgarity offends you). Some are mildly amusing, some are very funny. Here's an example of one I found pretty funny:

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.
Anyway, the link contains a lot of material, so it should keep you busy for a good 30-40 mintues at work, and really, that's why you're all here anyway, right?

3 comments:

circe said...

I have read these before...sad to say.

NegativeMode said...

Sorry, I will try to find something more original to better waste your time later....

circe said...

Actually after re-reading them I am of the opinion that I know the author...beware of Neurologists in the Pittsburgh area.

And actually this works quite well for job distraction...my job is really intensely boring.