Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Alligator Study

Last spring I planned a trip to the Everglades National Park in an attempt to better understand the great American Alligator (alligator mississippiensis), a creature I have found to be particularly fascinating for most of my life. Equipped only with a thirst for knowledge, an emergency whistle and a digital camera, I began my excursion deep into the unknown.

The first few days were spent observing my subject. I was careful to remain distant in my attempt to witness these lizard-like wonders in their most natural of states, having been told by experts to always maintain a distance of at least 15 feet between myself and any alligator that I may come across. It was on the fourth day of my quest that events took an unexpected turn when I accidentally stumbled into a gator nest, and from the occurrences that ensued I have deduced the following:

1) Alligator courtship (exactly as it sounds) consists of a complex and varied sequence of snout-touching, bellowing, "coughing," back-rubbing, circling, bubble-blowing, and swimming together that can last for minutes or hours at a time, and is performed repeatedly.
2) My emergency whistle, much to my regret, sounded remarkably similar to the above mentioned bellowing.
3) Alligators can, and will, eat anything. I repeat, anything.


NegativeMode said...

It's nice to know that alligators are willing to "eat anything" before mating -- gets the lady in the mood I suppose. Too bad humans aren't the same way. I guess there's just not time for "courtship" in these modern times.

Nice first post. Hope it isn't the last.

Q. A. Shah said...

hmm. so now rosie isn't posting to rosie's blog? i'm confused.

technically speaking, and i can technically speak, believe you me...negative mode is a singularity. there can be only one.

most importantly, i think you are trying to cop my shtick. talkin' 'bout alligators. not that picture, necessarily.

rosie, or "nicole" for that matter, you did pick up the "Alligator" album by The National, no?

Since we quote from albums rosie, as our PreferredMode of communication, a line:

"It's a common fetish for a doting man, to balerina on the coffee table cock in hand"


NegativeMode said...

No shtick copping here. And while we're on the subject, stop copping my language damnit. Can't you get shot for using Yiddish in your part of the world?

I have not picked up this so called "Alligator" album (and to my knowledge, neither has Nicole, although she'd have to answer that herself). Is it the hip hop, cause you know I don't like that cracker music.

Finally, nice lyrical quote and use of the word "PreferredMode".

NegativeMode said...

Also, in case everyone hasn't figured it out, I switched my display name from Rosenberg to NegativeMode. Take that!

Q. A. Shah said...

is "shtick" yiddish? shite. yeah, i'm libel to get beheaded in these parts for that shtick.

hell, i'm libel to behead my self.

and yeah, fo' sho' da sheet is craka' moosic, can't dance ta da shite mofo.

rosie, oh my rosie, where fore art thou my rosie....