Monday, January 30, 2006

A Colloquy In AABBA: Positive and NegativeMode

Have you ever been emailing back and forth with someone, random persiflage and arcane raillery, when suddenly, the two of you are struck with a brilliant idea: let's communicate only in the form of limericks? Well, PositiveMode and I were struck with that very idea last week, which resulted in two days worth of communication strictly in limerick form.

In case you've never had such a colloquy, I present ours in its unabridged, unedited version (that's not completely true, I added punctuation and edited a word or two):

PositiveMode UPDATE: I, too, have edited the punctuation, in this case to more closely conform with my original work)

There once was a man from New Trier,
Who ate mostly Arby's and beer,
But now he's a lawyer;
Brief reading destroyer,
With short hair who looks so austere.

There once was a man from Penn State
Who used to eat cheese by the crate.
But now job-agonizing,
He'd best hear me advising,
Get to Vegas, before it's too late!

Though limericks sometimes amuse,
Some say they're ill fit to send news;
I agree that their use
Can be prone to abuse
But that said, what have you got to lose?

While you're certainly skilled with a rhyme,
Speaking through limericks just takes too much time.
We're both under the gun,
To get legal work done.
I can't stop; rhyming's just so sublime.

Hopefully someday there'll be
Somebody with a job just like me
Who sits and reads papers
To catch misdeeds and capers,
Because these limericks would be something to see.

Though it's important for me to add:
I hope, since I do like my job just a tad,
That when these are seen
The reason will have been
That the Supreme Court did something bad.

I was wary your rhyming had ended.
I'm relieved to see you just pretended,
That your rhyming was done,
This is second to none,
This conversation must be extended.

But before I continue my craft,
I need to hand in my next draft.
This court's primary dominion,
Is to craft fine opinions,
And that is my job on this staff.

The only complaint I would proffer
About limericks and the benefits they offer
Is that it gets tricky
To be quite as nit-picky
As the pontificating style I prefer.

Prefer clearly does not rhyme with "proffer".
Nor does it rhyme with the word "offer".
Those two words are tough,
To rhyme off the cuff,
The only one I could think of was "coffer".

While this conversation has made my whole year,
Now I must go disappear.
My work day is done.
No more rhyming or pun.
And these poems are making us queer.

I'll only converse in the form
That makes me feel fuzzy and warm.
Some call it a waste,
Or in slightly bad taste,
But limericks, for me, are the norm.

Fine, I'll speak to you only like this.
Using regular verse would be remiss.
But please give me your feelings,
On our Las Vegas dealings,
I know your opinion exists.

By the way, with each poem you send,
I laugh and I laugh with no end.
An Algonquin round table,
Of mentally unstable,
There's a reason why you are my friend.

Please understand my reluctance
To "reply all" about women who dance.
Yesterday in this office,
An email was forwarded amiss
And I don't want to take such a stance.

But now I'll weigh in with my views
On the party, and how we'll amuse
And have fun by the heap,
Without being too cheap,
But can it compete with a cruise?

What did you think of last night's OC?
I thought, and I think you'll agree;
That it was stupid indeed,
To start smoking weed,
In your bedroom where someone might see.

Why not smoke with a girl on the pier?
Where the chance of discovery is mere.
Also, Caitlyn is crazy, I'm
thinking that maybe,
It's time for her to just disappear.

Also, I can't stand that guy Johnny,
He's a worse actor than Giuliani.
Each time that he speaks,
I abhor his techniques.
I would rather listen to CDs by Yani.

Wow, that was quite a dissertation
On last night's broadcast by the Fox station.
I wholly agree,
On points one, two, and three;
Johnny ought take a permenant vacation.

As far as our Vegas hotel,
Everyone's thoughts thus far seem to gel.
We need poles for the strippers,
We'll all be big tippers,
Even chintzy has said "What the hell."

I'm impressed with your punctuational use.
In poetry some sometimes are loose.
As if in the Bahamas,
They take vacation from commas;
For such carelessness there's no excuse.

Noting that it's afternoon Friday,
Perhaps now we'll find fit to say
The things we are thinking
And plans about drinking
In a more casual, less limerical way?

With regards to emailing: agreed.
It's Friday, relax and take heed.
There are things to discuss,
Without rhyming and fuss,
In prose you may now proceed.



brownbear said...

I am, quite frankly, surprised that your newly discovered poetic "talents" have not resulted in negative responses from your employers. Though positive mode I like the technical expansion that you have brought about through your introduction/invasion of the arte de limmerick with slant rhyme. It is so rare that one encouters a true maverick.

alamode said...

Reading that blog just inspired,
Me to try even though i am tired,
To write my comment in limerick.
What a fun little gimmick.
Boy i hope you two do not get fired!

Circe said...

Dude, can I rip that off for my blog?

I recently wrote how poetry is dead.

You have proved me wrong.

NegativeMode said...

So Circe, you're back are you?

Yes, you can post it on your blog provided you give credit where credit is due. Also, you'll have to link to NegativeMode. It's only fair.

What is your blog btw?

circe said...

I will defeinitely give credit to Negativemode and post the link to Negativemode.

However, my stupid blog is just a dumbass myspace thing. Positivemode can show you it...but I don't think it is really "link-worthy."

My blog is just random beyond random stuff.