Thursday, April 21, 2005

Lunch -- A Proud Achievement

I'm going to have Chef Boyardee Meat Ravioli for lunch today. A while back (probably almost a year now) I purchased one of those 8 or 10 or 12 or 18 packs that they sell at Costco. For a while I was eating it at work. But that was last summer. Last week I ate the second to last one, and today I will eat the last one.

I know it seems silly, but I consider it a minor accomplishment, and really, what is life but a series of minor accomplishments and failures (I realize that there are also major accomplishments and failures, but its the same thing, just different scale)? I will finally be rid of that enormous multi-pac that has been in my kitchen since last year (and survived an apartment move) and that is something for me to be proud of.

Through that multi-pack I will have consumed roughly the sodium content of the Bay of Biscane (I did the math, and that's the salt-water body closest to containing the amount of salt I have consumed through said ravioli) and the fat of an entire cow. I'm still here to tell about it. More importantly, that evil Boyardee will no longer be staring back at me with that strange smirk on his face, mocking me for purchasing such an absurd quantity. Well, the joke's on you Boyardee, 'cause I'm done with you and your Ravioli for (dare I say it) good! Your sallow eyes and well-kempt, salt and pepper moustache be damned, I'm free.

5 comments:

dj skuggs said...

boyardee, you got served.

brwonbear said...

I think that me and dj skuggs are the only ones who read these masterbatory rants.

NegativeMode said...

Oh, Brownbear, how I love your ascerbic tongue. I can assure you though, that you and DJ Skuggs are not my only readers. I happen to have a regular readership of well over 10 people, with that number growing by the week.

However, you two do seem to be the most prolific commenters, which I appreciate. I am currently trying to encourage more commenting so as to open up a diversified dialogue between negativemodians.

NegativeMode said...

Also, I suppose that the lunch post was a bit masterbatory, but it really was a major minor achievement in the culinary milieu of my life. I will try to be less masterbatory in the future, although I don't know whether or not I will succeed....

cards23allstar said...

Your not done with Chef Boyardee. Once you've tasted the sweet saltiness of the Boy's sauce you cannot just quit. It's a disease and I think that you need to find help. (I am trying to imply that you like boys)