Lunch -- A Proud Achievement

I'm going to have Chef Boyardee Meat Ravioli for lunch today. A while back (probably almost a year now) I purchased one of those 8 or 10 or 12 or 18 packs that they sell at Costco. For a while I was eating it at work. But that was last summer. Last week I ate the second to last one, and today I will eat the last one.

I know it seems silly, but I consider it a minor accomplishment, and really, what is life but a series of minor accomplishments and failures (I realize that there are also major accomplishments and failures, but its the same thing, just different scale)? I will finally be rid of that enormous multi-pac that has been in my kitchen since last year (and survived an apartment move) and that is something for me to be proud of.

Through that multi-pack I will have consumed roughly the sodium content of the Bay of Biscane (I did the math, and that's the salt-water body closest to containing the amount of salt I have consumed through said ravioli) and the fat of an entire cow. I'm still here to tell about it. More importantly, that evil Boyardee will no longer be staring back at me with that strange smirk on his face, mocking me for purchasing such an absurd quantity. Well, the joke's on you Boyardee, 'cause I'm done with you and your Ravioli for (dare I say it) good! Your sallow eyes and well-kempt, salt and pepper moustache be damned, I'm free.