Monday, April 11, 2005


Sunday's New York Times had an article entitled "The Man-Date" (special thanks to Brown Bear for sending me the link). The article defines a Man-Date as: "two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business or sports. It is two guys meeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with a woman. Dining together across a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a bar is not. Taking a walk in the park together is a man date; going for a jog is not. Attending the movie "Friday Night Lights" is a man date, but going to see the Jets play is definitely not."

I'm not quite sure what to make of this article, but it did require some self-introspection. I'm not sure exactly how many man-dates I've been on, but upon closer inspection, I think it's less that I might have originally thought. I don't know that I can ever remember going to a restaurant to eat with a man-friend that did not have sports playing or beer involved (it's certainly possible that it has happened, but I can't remember one). I know for a fact that I've never split a bottle of wine with a man (Quick side note: is sharing a bottle of port better? I think it is, but only slightly, and never when accompanied by a hissy fit.) A good example of a man-date would be as follows: Man 1, let's call him "Brown-Bear" and Man 2, let's call him "Buddah" sit down for a lovely piece of salmon, some veggies and wine. The meal is washed down with, you guessed it, a shared bottle of wine. That qualifies as a man-date I would think, although it was accompianied with some "special, happy-time" cigarettes, so I think that lessens the man-dateness. That's a lovely night at home though.

On the other hand, I don't know that I would necessarily qualify going to a movie with another guy as a man-date. I think the scale for judging the man-date factor is basicially how gay the activity seems (any sort of physical contact that involves the mouth or genetalia is no longer a man-date, that's just a gay date). Going to the movies with another man seems to be the least gay of all qualifying man-date activities. Couple that with getting stoned, and I don't think that you have a man-date anymore.

Finally, does going on a cruise with six other men count as one giant man date? There was a lovely dinner each night accompanied by low-lighting, no tvs, and wine (and the occasional bottle of port, hissy-fit not withstanding). However, I believe that each night, without fail, anywhere between 2 and 7 members of the group were drunk. That certainly lowers the man-date factor, as does the fact that it was a group man-dinner. I think that the cruise falls into category of man-vacation. It wasn't quite a man-date (although there were man-date qualities), but it wasn't completely beer-swilling heterosexuality either (see aforementioned hissy-fit). It was some sort of amalgam of testosterone-fueled spring break, man-date dinner and tropical vacation. Make of that what you will.

All in all, I think the man-date is a fine thing. I have no way to qualify that statement, but I just think its the truth. Perhaps I should go on more man-dates. Maybe this weekend Brown Bear, Buddah and I can have a nice turkey dinner....

10:00am EDIT: It just occured to me that I was completely wrong about not having been on a man-date. In fact, I participated in much worse than a man-date ... the feared and quite rare man-quasihoneymoon. I know that sounds really gay, and it probably is, but it was really just a matter of miscommunication between a travel agent and myself. In short, a man-friend and I went to St. Thomas for a week a few years ago as sort of a spring break, but in August. We got a good deal on the flight, so I called a travel agent to get some sort of all inclusive package at a hotel. She gets us a good deal and all is well. When we show up at the hotel, the woman behind the desk giggles and asks us if we want our t-shirts. Of course, we had no idea what t-shirts she was talking about. We were then informed that they were our "honeymoon t-shirts, of course." Apparently, the best deal she was able to get us was to book the honeymoon package which included a lovely suite, bottle of wine, flowers, bottle of rum and t-shirts. Of course, meals were included in the exclusive restaurant at the resort, which pretty much mandated (no pun intended) a man-date each night. It's all good though, because the man dates were followed up with going to clubs, and I hooked up a with a really hot chick that week (definately key because things were starting to feel a bit gay).

In conclusion, I was sorely mistaken about not having been on a man-date, as I was on a man-honeymoon. I did hook up with a hot chick though, so it was okay.

Man-date proof: The picture immediately below may or may not be a man-date. It is not from my man-honeymoon though, but rather the aforementioned man-cruise. I think I need to stop taking place in events that start with "man", but that is neither here nor there....

1 comment:

brownbear said...

This agression will not stand!